ever since i could remember, i have always wanted to be a lawyer. and so i dedicated many aspects of my life to making that dream come true. i chose a major during my undergraduate studies that i both loved (and still love) dearly and that i knew would make me a better lawyer. after obtaining a bachelor’s degree in psychology, my journey was now one step closer to my goal: i was on my way to law school.
let’s just skip all the little tid bits that don’t really matter, this is what matters: after a year and a half of being a law student and practically loathing every minute of it, i have finally finally understood why. and the purpose of mentioning my undergraduate major is here because pondering upon psychology is what gave me my answer…
i feel as though i am not exercising my brain in law school. insane, right? well, no – and the reason being is this: in undergrad, i wrote research paper after research paper, revision after revision, analysis after analysis, and i was using newly developed material, studies, and theories to create my papers. i was actually becoming more educated in new developments – substantively – i was growing. i think of myself as a flower that was developing and blooming so beautifully and then BOOM, the drought of development comes once i reach law school and now i’m shriveling up in my little pot and my petals are falling one by one.
in law school, it’s not about learning new theories and developments, it’s the exact opposite. all we learn about is the common law and cases that were created before my mom was even born. weird, right? you wonder what the point of this institution is. but law school is not concerned with “newness,” law school is concerned with teaching your brain how to think as opposed to what your brain can find and put into a paper. law school teaches you how to analyze and think on a level that many cannot attain. law school is a creature that is unique and can only be appreciated when understood. while i’m thankful for the kind of non-substantive development my brain is receiving in law school, i can’t help but miss blooming again.
i think truly though, that law school also gives us a taste of real life. in real life, we don’t have papers due, research to conduct, and revisions to make – on the contrary, there are no revisions in life. law school teaches self-discipline. if you really want to research and grow, guess what? you have to do it on your own, because life won’t demand a paper from you regarding the controversies of the Rorschach Ink Blot Test or the effects of Cocaine on the brain. you want it, you have to find it.
so law school, while i loathe your methodology of teaching, i can say that i do appreciate the other type of learning that you are providing me with. i appreciate you teaching me to analyze and think uniquely and become aware of what real life requires.
while i appreciate you, law school, i miss my research, my papers, and my psychology far more. i miss blooming…